if there is one thing that i have been reminded of again and again and again in the past few years, it is that life is fleeting. you never know what is going to hit you when.
the more you try to make sense of life, the more you realise there is no sense. the more you try to find a purpose to your existence, the more you are convinced that there is none. what matters is just the moment, every moment. the ‘now’. just live. because you dont know if this moment will extend into the next. and that into the next. make the most of it while it lasts.
sometimes it feels like this world we live in is a lost cause. it has become pretty much routine to wake up to depressing stuff, whether its war in the middle east, bombing in europe or floods in india. lives have become mere numbers, mere statistics. sometimes it feels like the more progressive our technology has become, the more regressive our hearts and souls seem to have gone. but then as much as you hear about the violence and callousness, you also hear heart warming stories of strangers who pitch in to help, of policemen and firemen who put others’s lives before their own. and such things make you feel like there is still hope. who knows.
of late i really feel the need to ‘detox’ myself of all the news overload, because i realise ‘news’ has just become jobless people bickering over useless stuff. im convinced that im going to lose nothing significant by being a little less ‘updated’, instead maybe spend my time and bandwidth on better stuff in the world.
strangely, as much as it depresses, it also seems to strengthen my resolve to “make each day count” (as jack, in titanic, would say). how do you do it ? i’m not sure. but hey, if you can allow yourself to be a little more silly and a little less worried, i guess that counts. if you can squeeze a few more laughs into your day, i guess that counts. if you can feel good about who you are right now, and not try to meet some imaginary standards set for yourself, i guess that counts. ( that last part, feeling good about yourself - so tough.)
its easy enough to stop and smell the roses once you start trying. forget the big stuff and just do the little things. because hey, most of the ‘big stuff’ are not in our control anyway. i’ve been realising this all the more recently, as i spend a lot of time with my neighbour’s kid. as often as i keep contemplating on life and such, i have also been letting myself loose, colouring on ice cream sticks with markers, playing monopoly, or making craft projects with cotton balls, food colours, and glitter.
it is so liberating to shut off the newsfeeds, and instead spend an afternoon watching sea lions in the galapagos, fish in the maldives, or elephants in kenya. or even the taj mahal or ajanta caves if you like. it is amazing to be virtually standing inside museums online on the google art project. it feels such a relief to laugh out loud till your sides ache, looking at silly ‘pinterest fails’ - just go ahead find your own way to give yourself a break from all the toxic nonsense around.
do what you need to do and move on. there is a surprising calmness inside when you realise that should just stop over-thinking and become over-emotionally invested in your own life and that of others, because after all,
que sera sera... whatever will be, will be.... the future is not ours to see.